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Top 5 Games the Number System Tricked You Into Not Playing

Friday, February 12th, 2010

Posted in Pixelosophy by Aaron Leach

When we decided to compile a list of our favorite games that didn’t hit the 80% mark, I thought it would be a breeze. How many sub-80% games can there be that are any good or that I’d even played? Turns out the answer to that is: a shitload. As Alex pointed out in his article, and as we’ve said many times on the show, 80% seems to be the default cut-off point when it comes to definitely buying and sometimes playing a game. The problem is that this excludes a ton of games that every gamer worth their weight in Funyuns needs to have played. Just to clarify, this list isn’t meant to say that these scores are wrong or that the games deserve higher scores because sometimes the scores are fairly accurate. It just means that even at these scores that most gamers would dismiss, there are some fantastic experiences to be found. Like it or not, the numbers came from Metacritic. Ok, let’s get started.

5. Darkwatch-74
Statistics show that a new first-person shooter is born in the video game world every three minutes (Note: Statistics do not actually show that a new first-person shooter is born every three minutes). The problem with this is that statistics also show that 98% of them are war-based shooters (Note: Actual percentage may vary). Whether it be a desert war, jungle war, space war or war in a space jungle, there is very little in the way of variety when it comes to the genre. Darkwatch is the answer to this narrative monotony. You get to play as a cowboy vampire that blasts the limbs off the undead on a mission to defeat an evil vampire lord. How does that not sound enticing? Fast-paced gunplay, interesting locales and enemies that aren’t just military people in different uniforms make this a game worth checking out if Call of Honor: Operation Frontlines in Arms 14 has got you yawning.

I’m lookin’ for them Twilight kids…


4. Scene It: Box Office Smash-76
Take the most notable movie trivia franchise and give it a solid video game treatment, and you end up with Scene It: Box Office Smash. While there is a newer installment to this series, it doesn’t stand up to this one. The 360 exclusivity gets you in-game avatar usage, and it’s also the only version to feature online multiplayer, which adds almost limitless replay value for movie geeks. At the very least, it’s the lazy version of a great game since there’s no messing with a DVD player, moving game pieces around or any of that exhausting dice rolling needed. Sit back and enjoy the fun of saying, “Aaah, what’s that guy’s name,” with minimal effort.

Never worry about having real friends to play against. The game provides you with virtual ones!


3. Elebits-75
This is a game that gets the shaft because nine times out of ten, video game reviewers can’t admit they like something that could be described as “cute looking.” No, Elebits does not have the most manly aesthetic in the world, but let’s be honest, is it really that big of a possibility that some smoking-hot chick is going to burst through your door unexpectedly and catch you playing the game, thereby ruining the chances of her waggling your remote? Other reviewers did write it off as being a little too tech demo-y since it’s really based around just one mechanic. What they don’t tell you is just how fun and satisfying that one mechanic is. Well, now you have been told. Go and play.

I told you not to get them wet!


2. Batman: Vengeance-70
Remember when Batman: Arkham Asylum came out last year, and everyone peed their pants because the voice-acting and production value was awesome enough to give you a bat-seizure? Yeah, Batman: Vengeance did that nearly ten years ago. This entry into the Batman franchise not only borrows its look from The New Batman Adventures, a spin-off of the legendary Batman: The Animated Series, but it also borrows the voice cast. That means you get the same great Batman and the same great Joker as in Batman: Arkham Asylum. While the gameplay will seem a bit dated by today’s action-standards, it holds up well enough to get you through a fun and polished Batman story in which the cut-scenes alone are worth playing for.

The recession took the greatest toll on the henchmen wardrobe budget.

The recession took the greatest toll on the henchmen’s wardrobe  budget.

Of course, I’m not going to show my whole hand just yet. Tune into Pixelosophy this coming Monday to see which game takes home the top spot.

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  • Matt

    You sons of BITCHES.