Bayonetta
Saturday, February 13th, 2010
Posted in Reviews by Brendan Saricks
In a world where we look at video games in a serious light with a critical eye, Bayonetta is at a severe disadvantage. The game is, from the ground up, a parody of itself. It teases us with a deceptively dense storyline, dazzles us with it’s mechanics, and floors us with it’s production values, but at the end of the day, it’s about a well endowed woman whose clothes turn into hell spawn and eat angels. It’s a game that never quite takes itself seriously…and, you know what, that’s ok.
Bayonetta is an Umbra Witch who has been imprisoned underwater for 500 years. Upon her release, she remembers nothing and wanders the earth as, from what I can tell, someone who just likes beating up angels for money. She has a business relationship with a man named Rodin who tends to her various weapons, carving them out of “steel that Satan would love to get his hands on”…or something like that. Before long, however, the people who put Bayonetta away for 500 years come looking for her, and thus set her on a journey that will bring the forces of Hell and Heaven face to face for the ultimate bat-…look, it really doesn’t matter. For all the quips and smart remarks Bayonetta lets loose over the course of the game (to it’s credit, the script actually is pretty amusing), she really only speaks one language: that of the Punch and the Kick. This is something you learn almost immediately upon booting the game, and it’s something you will have to become fluent in if you wish to see it through to the end.
Much of Bayonetta’s combat is similar to Devil May Cry (indeed, a lot of Platinum Games’ core is made up of original Devil May Cry team members) with a bit of God of War sprinkled in for flavoring. If you are familiar with either of those titles, the combat will come easier to you than it would someone fresh off the 3rd person brawler boat. The difference here, however, is two fold. For one, the game is very much combo reliant. Carved from the traditional Japanese form, Bayonetta relies more on finger alacrity and finesse, rather than American style button mashing. That isn’t to say that a button masher couldn’t make his or her way through the game; they just wouldn’t be able to tackle the harder difficulty levels. Not until they started worshiping at the alter of the gods of timing anyway. The other main difference between Bayonetta and its spiritual predecessor, Devil May Cry, is Witch Time. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is, Bullet Time. But stay with me on this, and let me explain. Upon a successful dodge, for which there is a dedicated button, you can enter Witch Time. You move at your normal speed, if not a bit faster, and everything else runs at a snails pace. This allows you to pull off all manner of ridiculous combos without fear of retribution. Yes, it’s a tired mechanic, but Platinum Games has managed to give it a fresh coat of paint. There is something insanely satisfying about successfully dodging an incoming attack and then being pulled, literally, into Witch Time so you can enact your retribution. It is the hinge mechanic for the game, and you must be able to do it reliably.
The reason being that the game’s difficulty ratchets up at a pace that some would consider “jarring” but others would consider “oh f**k you”. The game has a lot of curse-at-the-screen moments, but the blame usually falls in the player’s lap. By the time you reach the last boss you will have knocked 5-10 years off your lifespan screaming. Speaking of the last boss, remember that story I started to tell you about a few paragraphs ago? It’s pretty easy to ignore up until the last few levels, but, and this is the only place I feel like Platinum stumbles with Bayonetta, once you beat the final Virtue (imagine a boss the size of a Walmart – those are Virtues), the game lays the story on thick. Not only is it thick, it’s mostly devoid of flavor. The game falls prey to its own perceived brilliance and spends the last two or three levels bathing in the story it has crafted. It’s not a bad story; its just that, by that point, you just want to beat the crap out of angels, not listen to ten minutes of exposition. It’s a pretty big buzzkill to sit through; so Platinum was kind enough to offer us a skip function.
There are other minor pitfalls that the game falls prey to here and there. There is a wobbly camera, action that moves too quickly to track at times, and annoying novelty game mechanics, but all in all it’s still well worth a look. The game takes anywhere from 5-20 hours to beat depending on your knack for the genre and offers a menagerie of unlockables through its new game plus mode. If this is your type of game, you can expect to put 30+ hours into it; not bad for your 60 American Dollars.
2010 has kicked itself off with a bang (you don’t understand – there are GUNS on her SHOES), and you can’t go wrong with making Bayonetta your inaugural purchase. Platinum Games has been around long enough to understand fun, and they have harnessed it for you here. This is a game you shouldn’t miss; Buy it.
Pros:
-Fluid combat mechanics
-Awesome boss battles
-Over-the-top in every way
Cons:
-Camera finds its way into annoying places at times
-Novelty gameplay mechanics that occur infrequently but don’t fit
-Sometimes you lose Bayonetta in the crowd